Cruel Intentions: The Musical at PRINCESS THEATRE TORQUAY

A bitter, sour symphony proving that not all movies should become musicals.

Based on the iconic 90’s movie and infused with some of the decade's most beloved pop anthems from Britney Spears, *NSYNC, the Spice Girls etc. It’s hard not to walk into the theatre with sky-high expectations. After all, with such nostalgic hits as the soundtrack, how could anything go wrong? Yet, within moments of the opening scene, the audience is swiftly plunged into a world that feels more lifeless than electric. What should be an exuberant celebration of the 90s quickly reveals itself to be a dull and underwhelming experience, one that fails to capture the energy or magic of the era it attempts to evoke. Instead of vibrant performances and infectious energy, we are met with flat portrayals and a sense of missed potential, leaving the audience wondering: What happened to all the fun?

One of the most disappointing aspects of the production is its static set design. From start to finish, the backdrop remains a simple, boxy representation of a high school, complete with an entrance at the back and two exits at the top balconies. This lack of visual variety quickly becomes boring. The set design, with its limited scope, feels more like a cheap imitation of Heathers: The Musical. In fact, throughout the show, there’s a sense that this production wishes it could be Heathers! What could have been an exuberant, larger-than-life celebration of the 90s instead comes off as a lacklustre, wannabe version of a far more successful musical.

Choreography by Gary Lloyd was solid, and the movement throughout the show was well-executed. However, I couldn't help but feel there was missed potential when it came to the ensemble numbers. With such an iconic soundtrack packed with 90s pop hits, it seemed like there was a real opportunity for more exciting, high-energy dance routines. Instead, the choreography often felt restrained and none of the dance moments stood out as particularly memorable. The music itself was made for bigger, more dynamic routines, and it’s a shame that the choreography didn’t fully tap into that energy. A bit more flair could have really elevated the production.

Will Callan as Sebastian Valmont undoubtedly has the right look for the role, charming yet morally questionable, he nails the physical presence of a high school player. His strong voice is a standout, particularly when he delivers a moving rendition of Iris by Goo Goo Dolls. However, despite his vocal prowess, Callan’s portrayal of Valmont often feels a little flat. His attempt to bring the character’s smarmy, subtly charming qualities to life occasionally falls into wooden, one-dimensional territory. Rather than exuding the layered complexity that makes Valmont both charismatic and repellent, Callan's performance occasionally comes across as too stiff, making the character feel more unlikeable and difficult to relate to.

While the performances from the cast cannot be faulted, there were two particular character portrayals that stood out for all the wrong reasons, both stemming not from the actors themselves, but from the way the characters were written and interpreted for the stage. First, there’s Cecille, played by Lucy Carter. I should make it clear that Carter is a comedic powerhouse with an impressive vocal range, and in the right context, she’d be a joy to watch. However, the decision to make Cecille behave in an overly childlike manner, particularly during some of the more intimate scenes, was deeply uncomfortable and crosses into unsettling territory. The intended innocence in the character’s portrayal came off more as disturbing than endearing, making it hard for the audience to connect with her or the emotional weight of her scenes. The second character I struggled with was Blaine, played by Luke Connor Hall. Again, Hall is undeniably talented, his vocals are on point, and he delivers with a kind of effortless flair. But the character of Blaine felt so steeped in tired, one-dimensional stereotypes that it was hard to ignore. The exaggerated mannerisms and behaviours felt less like a real person and more like a cartoonish portrayal of a “gay best friend”. At times, it bordered on offensive, as the musical relied on cliched tropes rather than giving the character depth or nuance. While the intention might have been to inject humour and energy, the result felt dated and alienating

.

Both of these character interpretations missed the mark for me, not because of the actors, but due to the lack of thoughtful writing and direction. It’s a shame, as these roles could have been a meaningful part of the show but ultimately left a sour taste.

Thankfully, this production was saved by the magnetic presence of Nic Myers as Kathryn Merteuil, who was undoubtedly the standout of the entire performance. From the moment she stepped on stage, Myers embodied the character with sharp precision, capturing the perfect balance of seductive charm and malicious intent. She was flawless in every sense, her commanding stage presence, her impeccably delivered vocals, and her ability to make even the most wicked of bullying tactics strangely enjoyable. You couldn’t help but be captivated by her, even as you despised everything her character stood for. Particularly in Act 2, Kathryn’s emotional breakdown provided a jaw-dropping moment of brilliance. As she launches into an epic medley of Bitch by Meredith Brooks and Losing My Religion by R.E.M., Myers brought the house down. The performance was raw and powerful earning thunderous applause from the audience. It was a wake-up call that reminded us of what the show could have been if the rest of the production had this much of an attack. For a fleeting moment, it felt like the show was finally coming alive. However, this spark was short-lived, as the production quickly returned to its lacklustre rhythm and soon wrapped up. It was a bittersweet realization that the brilliance we glimpsed was too little, too late.

Throughout the production, despite my overall dissatisfaction with the show, I couldn’t help but enjoy the soundtrack. The songs are fun and nostalgic. Most of them were performed well and they had that instant feel-good vibe. However, the way they were introduced often felt cringe-worthy, with cheesy and clunky dialogue that undermined the energy of the music. Take the moment when a character sings, "Tell me what you want..." only for the response to be, “I’ll tell you what I really, really want” - cue eye roll. It’s moments like these that, rather than amplifying the fun, just highlighted the show’s missed potential. The songs deserved a better, more seamless integration into the narrative.

Overall, the cast was tasked with the difficult job of trying to breathe life into a badly written musical. While their performances were as strong as possible given the weak adaptation of the film, it still wasn’t enough to overcome the show’s fundamental flaws. This isn’t a production I’ll be rushing to see again any time soon and judging by the sparse audience numbers, I’m guessing it won’t touring again any time soon either. Sometimes, on those rare occasions, it’s just better to pop in the DVD and enjoy the original.

⭐⭐

Credit - Pamela Raith

---

SEAT REVIEW

Venue: Princess Theatre Torquay

Seat location: Circle, Row G, Seat 28.

You are very slightly to the left rather than central, however, nothing is missed and it is a clear view of the stage. The seats are comfortable and there is sufficient legroom.